Sadness

Once you have identified sadness then respond appropriately to this emotion in yourself and others. First, allow yourself to be sad. You don’t have to be “up” or “positive” all the time. If you feel sad explore the feelings and find out what you need. You may need to talk to a friend, have time to yourself or to work through your feelings and accept them. When you respond to others who are feeling sad you may just need to be with them, not rejecting them whilst they feel sad. It is okay to ask them “What do you need right now?” Sometimes the experience of having someone sit with you whilst you experience previously unacceptable feelings can be very healing.

Whatever your own experience of sadness, remember it is part of being human and allows us to recognize and value the contrast between feeling happy and sad. We need these contrasts in order to recognize our own vulnerabilities and those of others and to be able to appreciate our gains and losses. The ability to recognize and respond to your own and others’ emotions will stand you in good stead. It will mean you are more likely to understand others and they are more likely to understand you. Try to embrace all the emotions you have at your disposal, even the ones that may seem “weak” or “shameful,” these are just other people's labels. After all these feelings are what allow you to experience life at its fullest and ultimately they are part of what makes you human.

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Regret

Regret is a negative cognitive/emotional state that involves blaming ourselves for a bad outcome, feeling a sense of loss or sorrow at what might have been or wishing we could undo a previous choice that we made. For young people, regret, although painful to experience, can be a helpful emotion. The pain of regret can result in refocusing and taking corrective action or pursuing a new path. However, the less opportunity one has to change the situation, the more likely it is that regret can turn into rumination and chronic stress that damages mind and body.

Coping with Regret

1. Harness the Functional Aspects
   
   Regret, like all emotions, has a function for survival. It is our brain's way of telling us to take another look at our choices; a signal that our actions may be leading to negative consequenes. Regret is a major reason why addicts get into recovery!


2. If There is Nothing You Can Do to Change the Situation, Let It Go
   
   If you get stuck blaming yourself and regretting past actions, this could turn into depression and damage your self-esteem. Find a way to forgive yourself and let it go. You could think about what you would say to a loved one in the same situation to make them feel better. Most people have an easier time forgiving others than themselves.


3. Make Sure You are Not Taking Too Much Blame
   
   Consider the circumstances at the time that may have made it more difficult to make good choices, or the fact that you had limited knowledge at the time. Perhaps you had to make a quick decision under time pressure or had multiple stresses going on.


4. Reframe the Situation More Positively
   
   Think about life as a journey. Everybody makes mistakes and these can be opportunities to learn important lessons about yourself, your ways of reacting, values, vulnerabilities, triggers, and also about other people and how to take better care of yourself